A Strange Anniversary

December 14 was an anniversary of sorts for us. It wasn't one I wanted to celebrate, nor one I particularly was thrilled about remembering. It was the date that someone broke into our Chicago apartment (again) and stole the Christmas presents we'd lovingly chosen, bought, and wrapped, as well as any electronic item they could find (computers, monitors, iPod, etc.). It was also the break-in that made me feel unsettled in our home. After that I peeked around our front door with trepidation every time we came home. That event is one of the reasons we began seriously talking about moving.

I am again in the throes of wrapping and the memories of the last time I did this keep coming back. Yesterday I asked Nate why we didn't have as much wrapping paper...then remembered we wrapped several presents twice last year. Oh, yes. That's right. (Another burglary anniversary occurs on Dec 21, but that one didn't faze me as much for some reason. More on that at a later date.)

I was not expecting the flood of memories of fear and uncertainty that came with the anniversary. It wasn't the stealing of our things that raised fear, though that was disappointing; it was the attack on perceived safety and security. Even the extra locks and 2x4's the landlord installed didn't relieve the fear-grip that had been raised.

It was a good time to put into practice what we'd been learning in our seminary class about resting in God in spite of your circumstances. We were able to worship God and worship Him regardless of the intrusion and the chaotic state of our home. It was also a good reminder that we shouldn't hold too tightly to "our" possessions, to remember that nothing we own is actually ours, but God's to use however He wants, even if that means it is taken from us. It was a reminder that this world isn't a home to get too comfortable in, even if the things that make us comfortable are good things. And it was another lesson to hold our possessions in an open hand. I pray we can continue to remember these things and not be selfish with "our" stuff. And to use what we have for God's glory and purposes.
tm

A Place at the Table

My grandmother recently passed away and I got to keep the placemat that she had for me. She had one of these for each of her grandchildren. They were red and white checkered with our name sewn across the top. I remember looking for my placemat at the table at family get-togethers. Without fail I would find it and take my seat. Now, grandma did not make these because she was obsessed with assigned seating, but because she wanted us to know we belonged at the table. We weren’t just invited to her house; we were invited to her table, to a specific seat that she picked out just for us. She kept several blank ones on hand in case a guest showed up. While they may not have had their names sewn into it, they still had a place at grandma’s table.
I had a thought the other day: What if grandma got to put a placemat out on the table in heaven for each person that would be there as a result of her obedience to God? Her family, her friends, her Sunday school students, campers, and all the other people whose lives she touched. She’d have quite a stack of placemats to put out. But whether grandma puts a placemat out or not, those of us who know God through Christ have a seat waiting for us in heaven. We do not simply get to heaven; we get a place prepared for us. Our names are written down, and we’re expected. Our seats are for nobody but us. God has chosen our place, thought through what fits us best, and awaits our arrival.

nwm

A Sharp Edge Cuts Best

The best tools for change are things that do not change. I’ve been making a headboard for our bed, and part of that process has involved using a router. Routers spin bits and 25 or so thousand rotations per minute, and apart from spinning quickly, the bits must be very sharp. If the bits are dull, they will not cut, but rather basically burn their way through the wood, or not make it at all. Anyone who works with knives or saws or bits of any kind knows the importance of having a sharp edge. Because edges have a tendency to dull, those who make such things have to use harder and tougher elements. Tungsten carbide or titanium carbide can be used on the tips of blades and bits to prevent wear. There are even diamond-tipped bits for cutting the most difficult of materials. The more unchanging a blade is, the more change it can create, the more cuts you can get. As we think of God, His unchanging-ness is what makes Him the greatest agent of change. All of creation, all mankind has the capability of and propensity to change (and that change should always be God-ward). When we allow ourselves to be changed by something changeable, we set ourselves up for failure. No one would use a wooden saw blade to try and cut wood, yet many of us trust in the ideas of man to solve the problems of man. Even if they appear to be working, they will wear down and change, and a replacement will be needed. But God never needs replacing. He gives eternal answers and eternal solutions. As you go through life, allow yourself to by changed by the unchangeable.

nwm

Filling Your Lung Capacity

Our lives are in transition again, though on the backside of it. Several weeks ago we moved. We left our first home together. We left our character-filled apartment. We left our beautiful and ever-changing Lake Michigan. We left our 606xx ZIP code. We left our short and very beautiful nature-filled 25-minute commute. We left our cozy neighborhood.

But we gained air conditioning. We gained a parking spot. We gained water pressure. (These may seem small, but they are huge blessings when you've lived for 10 years without them.) We gained the closeness of family. We gained a freedom I hadn't anticipated - being able to leave at any time of the day or night and not have to worry about losing our prime parking place right in front of the apartment building on our one-way street.

You don't always notice when you lose freedom. Sometimes you slowly adjust your "normal" until you are shackled by your actions. It is only when those are loosened, even slightly, that you realize you were in bondage in the first place. It is only when you get a breath of clean, fresh air that you realize how polluted the air you've been breathing has been. It is only now, after nearly a month, that I am experiencing the freedom of being able to enjoy being at people's homes and not watching the clock, trying to figure out how many minutes are left to relax before driving back downtown only to drive around and around the block, stalking anyone nearing a car, waiting for someone else to pull away from the curb to nab their spot. I am enjoying the freedom to leave our new place whenever we like. I am not yet enjoying our new place to the fullest, and I still miss the city, but I am slowly stretching, breathing in, and realizing the potential of my expanded motion, my expanded lung capacity.
tm

Glorifying Through the Confusion

Last Monday, January 4, on Chris Fabry Live!, I joined Chris Fabry to talk about my New Year Resolution. It wasn't a resolution so much as an intentional change in the way I think about my possessions. In light of the recent robberies my husband and I have had (our apartment on December 14 and our luggage out of a van on December 21), I'm trying to view my possessions differently. I actually pre-recorded the piece on December 31 because I was taking a graduate school class last week. Click here to listen: http://asxarchive.moodyradio.org/ChrisFabryLive/2010-01-04_Chris_Fabry_Live.asx

Switch to yesterday afternoon. My sister was driving my Daewoo (my first car) and it died in the middle of the Eisenhower Expressway on her way downtown. We had it towed to the mechanic who diagnosed it as a timing belt that went out. Chances are, the cylinders are messed up, too. If the cylinders are messed up, we'll likely have to junk the car because it'd be cheaper to junk it than to fix it.

Today when I was listening to last Monday's program and heard what I said about letting go of my possessions and treating them differently, I connected yesterday with the robberies. My car is another possession that I will likely lose in the near future. I don't know what will happen with my car. I don't know what outcome there will be from the robberies or the insurance. I don't have the answers to a lot of things right now. But ultimately, none of it is about me. It is about me in the sense that I are experiencing the feelings and struggles on this earth, but even those aren’t about me. I'm not trying to pull the cliché “it’s not about me” thing, but the only reason I’m on the earth in the first place is to glorify God. The hopes and dreams I had for the Daewoo or the stolen Christmas presents or my life in general aren’t guaranteed…and I can either dwell on “what should have been” or what I wanted, or I can glorify God through the confusion. I guess that’s where I am at the moment…glorifying Him in the confusion.
tm

Moving Mountains

I'm reading through the Bible in a year (or trying to) and I recently read the story of the so-called tower of Babel in Genesis 11. On January 4, 2010, Burj Khalifa officially opened in Dubai and simultaneously broke several world records. It is the tallest structure in the world, has the fastest elevator in the world, has the world's highest mosque, and the world's highest swimming pool. It is truly a demonstration of the great creativity, ingenuity, and ability of mankind. It stands at an impressive 2,717 ft., over half a mile tall. In the list of man-made structures, it tops the list, but in a list of God-made and man-made structures, it wouldn't even be in the top 2,500. God has made mountains that stretch across continents and go miles into the sky. The breath-taking Mt. Everest is over ten times taller than Burj Khalifa. God has given man a creative mind, and the ability to carry out the designs it comes up with, but our creations pale in comparison with God's. The human mind itself is God's creation, and is the only thing in creation made with the capability of knowing God Himself. The human mind can come up with some remarkable ideas, but God designed it for relationship with Him. The people in Babel were capable of doing what they set their minds to, but God had a different plan for them. God desires unity, but a unity that has its foundation in Him, not in man. Jesus said that with faith we can move mountains. That faith is not in our ability to move mountains, but in the One who made the mountains.
nwm

Taking Things that Don't Belong to You

The great theologian Matthew Henry was once robbed and thanked God for three things: (1.) that he had never been robbed before, (2.) that the robber did not take his life, and (3.) that it was not he doing the robbing.
My wife and I were robbed twice within one week's time. A burglar broke into our apartment and took electronics, jewelery, and Christmas presents for our families. Then, exactly a week later, our luggage was stolen from the back of a rented van while we were visiting family. Two of the bags were filled with Christmas presents for our nephews and niece.
After the second robbery, I could not thank God that I had never been robbed before, for I had indeed been robbed before. But I could thank God that my wife and I and my brother and his family were all alive. And I could certainly thank God that it was not I who was doing the robbing.
When you tell someone the story of being robbed you get a number of responses, and many the same. Anger is a common response. The listener says how angry he would be if it had happened to him, and is surprised how well we're taking it. Another response is empathy, and the listener shares a story of burglary from his or her own life. Many people joke and laugh (as we did) at the idea of being robbed twice within a week's time in two completely different cities. And, of course, there are many variations of the it-could-have-been-worse response. The very first response I got, however, was, "God must be trying to tell you something."
What was God trying to tell us? "Don't hold on so tightly to your possessions." "You don't need Christmas presents to celebrate Christmas." "I am all you need." Those are all possibilities, and those were all truths that were further ingrained in my own soul, but I do not think that events in our lives happen so that the next day we are a different person. That can happen, but often the answers come much clearer down the path.
Why did we get robbed? Why don't we get robbed every day? What do I have that I have stolen? Why am I not a robber? Why did I have so much stuff to be taken in the first place? Question upon question can be asked, and even more answers can be given.
I thanked God that we were robbed. I saw the good in it right away. I was not angry, nor did I question God's goodness. I do not wish vengeance upon the thieves who robbed us. I am reminded that in my thievery God has forgiven me. As Christ had two thieves on either side of Him at His crucifixion, so will He have two kinds of thieves at the Judgment: ones who are forgiven and will be with Him in paradise, and ones who reject Him and will spend eternity apart from Him. I thank God, as Matthew Henry did, that it was not I who was doing the robbing, but I thank Him even more, that He has forgiven me of the robbing I have done.
nwm